Falling short of my goal and overcoming

I failed a test the other day. The test was very important for me because the result of the test would decide if I could enter a school. The school has a program that is for English teachers who want to teach English to foreign learners and is called "TESOL". Entering this school and taking the course was my goal of studying abroad in the U.S.A.

Since I decided my goal, I have been strict about my English studying; I have been speaking only English, shutting any Japanese language out such as music, books, dictionaries, and others, and participating in all my classes with maximam effort,  because I have been aware that the goal of studying with other students who are native English speakers at the school is formidable.

However, I failed the test. When I was coming back all the way from the school after the test, in the bus I listened to a Japanese song, and everything in my sight - passengers and scenery gliding by- seemed like a dream. Since the day, I have been depressed for several days.

I remember what someone said something like "If the door which you wanted to go through is closed, there is always another opened door. It depends on you whether you try to find the next door or not". The door in front of me is now closed. It depends on me if I choose to be relaxed as I give up my goal in front of the closed door or choose to go to dark and harsh place to find an open door. Now it is time to overcome obstacles.

Comments

[Myf (editor)]

Take heart Keita - I can see how much your English has improved, even in the time since you started this blog.

I would advise you to retake the test if you can, even if it's some months in the future. I think you will attain your dream one day because I don't come across many students who are as dedicated and noble as you. Your aim not to speak or listen to any Japanese is quite incredible and absolutely the right approach. You can do it!! I know it.

[Beth]

I think you can do it too! You have come so far. If it was my dream, I'd stick around that door until it opened again... It will take time and study but if you think about how much you have learnt in a short time and how much you could learn with that time again, the door is almost certain to be opened if you put the effort in again.

[Natasha]

I think your English is fantastic. Your writing style is beautifully lyrical and you have a very strong desire to succeed.

Can you get a copy of your results and see where you went wrong?

I too think you shouldn't give up on this dream and try to take the exam again.

[lottie]

i really hope it's only a temporary setback - your writing here is excellent. good luck for the future - you will succeed. it doesn't always have to happen the first time.

[lord amos]

The open door will be letting in light. From what I see here you cannot be far away. Keep trying and you will succeed!

[buzzy_bee]

I'm sorry to hear you didn't manage it this time, but hopefully you will get another chance. Remember that you were up against native speakers on this as well.

To follow up your saying, I shall share a favourite of my Scottish mother in law:

"What's for you will not go past you".

[Keir]

That's the think about goals - if you meet them all the time then you're not setting them high enough.

Keep on trying, and good luck!

[Erika Cummings]

Do not lose heart.
I have just hosted a young Japanese boy who came to stay for an English course for 3 weeks. Although we did not know at the time he is Autistic. He arrived very nervous and hardly talking. With a lot of help from his host family (me)and a little more self believe he left with a certificate declaring him student best improved in English. Just believe in yourself, you have the determination and the will to suceed. It is a little set back not a major stumbling stone.

[Keita]

Thank you all.

I appriciate you to read my blog and gave me comments. Your comments made me feel like "all the challenges I have done here was not wrong" and "I will be alright and should keep going". Learning English is not easy. Often I am defeated in the situation of that I am talking with native speaker and I can not speak well or can not keep up with others' talking. I am defeated again and again but I get up times and again. By your all comments, I can get up again!

[may]

I believe there's the door that u said in Perth!?
I hope u wont regret it,anyway!

[Kanta]

You should stay at granma's house. otherwise you will get sleepy.

I can see an opened door in Perth! am i right?? can you see it??

I never regret what i choose. Don worry May!